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I had a very good time dancing with a beautiful woman visiting from out of town. Very nice and giving embrace, smooth walk. And she has only been dancing for less than two years. We had a few mishaps, nonetheless I thought we both enjoyed the tandas.

On my way driving home, I was still immersing in the bliss of these lovely tandas.  Stopping at a traffic light, I suddenly realized that the reason I enjoyed our tandas so much (Those who know me, know how critical I am with my tango experience. ), other than the lovely embrace, despite the technique, was her musicality.

Yes, woman has her own musicality too.

I am sorry if my epiphany is already a well known fact. All I have read before was how women praised the men being musical and I haven’t heard of any one mentioning musicality of the woman. In the hindsight, some of my unforgettable tango experiences were due to the inspirations I had drawn from the woman’s musicality.  It was not because she moved or danced perfectly to the music. It was deeper. Through our embrace, our touching cheeks, I could feel the music from her body before we took a step. It was exhilarating to dance with woman who had good musicality. Technique was no longer an factor. Giving embrace, individual musicality, these almost guaranteed a dreamy tanda.

I just wish there are more women who would knowingly cultivate this quality, if they don’t have it naturally. Few women would respond to the music as if they felt impelled to sing along, with their feet, their bodies and their souls.

And too many teachers are teaching how to dance,  how to lead and follow,  few are teaching what inspires to dance.

The more and more I appreciate what Pedro Sanchez has said to me: ” Take it easy, listen to the music. It will tell you how to dance. ” It is true for the man, as well as for the woman.

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Simba’s post “important difference” echoed a sentiment that I’ve been having: I like to receive as much as I give in tango.

According to my tanguera friend, whom had a few conversations with our teacher at Tangocamp and in BsAs, his philosophy is to give love to all regardless if you expect it to be returned or not. you are there to please the other person. I like that idea, and always follow it reasonably well. And on the blogsphere, there are good amount of posts about how a man should take good care of woman and give a good time to the woman in the dance.

But how about us, the man? What gives us the pleasure of tango? What kind of woman gives us the “ah…” at the end of song, the heart rate that equals to 30 minutes on the treadmill, or in my case, an tangorgasmic experience that I had to hold my tears?

I had a few conversations with my fellow tangueros (the ones whom are popular in the milongas). Yes, men talk too. The most we talk about: a woman’s embrace…

The first time I came back from Buenos Aires, I ranted about the change of embrace on this side of the world; distant, somewhat cold (or nervous) and unnatural as oppose to warm and comfy. It has been close to two years since my first trip back and I have been dancing with hundreds of different women. The more I dance, the more I realize that embrace is as much about technique as attitude; much less to do with experience. Tina has this post that has been always inspiring.

Some of the warmest and most comfy embrace I have experienced were from women had danced just a few months to less than three years. And it is not about particular group of women. The Asian, European and North American can embrace just as well as the Portenas. Some portena’s embrace can feel cold and stiff. Again, part technique, mostly attitude.

The attitude of giving. The attitude of pleasing the other person.

Sometimes one has to give in order to receive.

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I was at Javier and Stella’s advanced class on Saturday morning at Tangocamp Roma. There was this young chica, slim and pretty, waiting for the class to begin by the door. Judged from her wristband, she was at the intermediate/advanced group. Apparently she was one of those Javier followers (such as myself ) who tried to take every class with Javier.

The first half an hour, we did nothing but walking individually forward and back, up and down the classroom. Then we did a lapiz on free leg, walked a step; lapiz on the other free leg and walked another step… so on and so forth.

After twenty minutes Javier explained embrace, and asked us to pair up. This young chica paired up with me. Javier showed us the exercise: just put our arms around each other and walk.

I opened my arms and she put hers around me and embraced me. I could feel that she was tense, holding her breathe and nervous. Yet, there was something different, something that I felt I rarely experienced. She embraced me with feeling and emotion.

Stella stopped us at one point, corrected her posture and the way of her walking. Then we changed partners. The moment the other woman embraced me, I instantly missed her embrace. We partnered up again after two more changes till the end of the class.

We did nothing but walking in embrace. I was in a state that I was only aware of my own breathe, the music and her being. I could almost feel the emotion going through her body. And it was powerful.

After ten fifteen minutes, Javier stopped us and then put on a Pugliese. I turned around to her and we embraced again. All of sudden she loosed the embrace, mumbled something and gave me a little kiss on the cheek. I was a little surprised. She turned me around: Javier and Stella were doing a demo for us at the end of the class…

I had never had the chance to dance with her again, in the milonga. She was dancing with this guy for hours two night in a roll. I was too proud to walk over and asked her, although a few times I almost did.

I watched them dancing on the floor, amidst the frenzies of the crowd. They were just embracing each other; her eyes closed, his half open, her posture slightly awkward, foot lifted in the air from time to time, his moves far from grounded, but they were in their own world.

I danced till Monday morning and went back to my room to pack. I went out to the bar and tried to get some coffee before leaving for the airport and saw her at the reception with her luggage.

We smiled and waved at each other and I kept on walking. Half way back to my room, I couldn’t help it but turned around and walked up to her.

“Are you leaving?” I asked.
“Yes” She looked at me.
“eh…I think you are going to be great. Keep dancing the way you do. You dance with such emotion…” I pointed to my heart.
“You too, with great emotion” She said sincerely and a bit excited.

We embraced each other for a long moment, one more time…

On my way back to my room, I realized that we didn’t exchange any information, no names, no e-mails, nor facebook info. Somehow I felt that I would see her again somewhere, in one of the big festivals in Europe or a small milonga in BsAs. Next time when I dance with her, she would be great. She already had the most important quality. Technique is not important (as Javier told me), it would come as long as one works on it…

But “nobody can teach you the feeling…” as Gavito said.

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