tangopilgrim.com

I met Sandra, a fellow student of Javier and Andrea,  this time in BsAs. She is one of the few memorable tangueras whom I had the pleasure to dance with and work with. This is the link to her experience with Javier and Andrea.  She talks about her own discovery of tango.  Excerpts:

Javier and Andrea encourages and inspires me to find myself and the freedom to express it in my tango, to enjoy dancing and not be absorbed into calculating how many degrees my hips should be moving; to understand not how to make an adorno, but why I am adorning; to be selfish, yet giving; to be submissive, yet active.

On the contrary to some foreigners’ view, Javier and Andrea have been promoting nothing but the spirit of traditional tango. For every negative voice, I could probably find five more positive comments. Then again, it doesn’t matter how others think despite their lack of first hand experience or on pure imagination. The most important thing, for me, is that every time I learn from them, I discover something more profound; my understanding of tango is deeper…

When I first read MIM’s post , I laughed out so hard that my colleague thought I just hit the jackpot. Too bad the comment was off. Although it is a misguiding and provoking title, what they described in the post was roughly the same experience that I have had. A subject has been long in my mind yet never put into words. I am glad that they’ve taken the heat first.

Their second post explains one of the important technique: pulling your hips back. Another technique, that was not mentioned in their posts, is “Show off your breast” for the woman. Bring the chest up proudly. Together with pulling the hip back slightly, the culo will naturally “stick out”. Most of the female dancers have tight and round behind, firm legs due to the exercise they have been doing for years. I might be called sexist by saying this: the posture is the sexiest and most beautiful thing to watch.

And nobody, at least nobody whom I have learned from, has taught or being heard teaching anyone to “stick her butt out”. The visual is the consequence of the techniques. In some cultures, women are inhibited to show their feminine characters. Naturally, they are less inclined to accept this aesthetic aspect of the posture.

How this posture, despite different views on its aesthetic merit, actually feel on my side of embrace? When it is right, the moment I embrace the woman, I could feel that it is the beginning of a blissful journey. The connection from the moment the embrace completes is far stronger than the connections that I have experienced with other postures. (And I can’t tell you how much I dislike embracing a woman who stand straight and connect from waist up, which is probably the reason that I stop going out here.)

There are more techniques and benefits of this posture, which deserve another post or two to explore. But let me tell you this: I was in heaven almost every time I danced with certain women who have learned this way. I just wish there were more of them this part of the world.

Here is an example:

A few examples of the postures from different dancers:

Last but not the least

and those who don’t .  Here is from Chicho, the icon of “tango nuevo”,  excerpt from his interview with Milena Pleb:

… I remember we were talking, then we embraced each other and in that moment I felt 40 years of tango. In the embrace, do you understand? We hadn’t taken a single step! It was simply from the way in which you held me. For me that was the most powerful moment of the tanda. The we danced for a long time. It was great, we did all sort of things. I enjoyed myself. But the moment of that embrace, like the one of my first class and some others, have marked me in regards to my relationship with the dance. I’m talking about the intimacy of the embrace. With very few people have I been able to feel the same way, much has been lost. My wish for the dance of tango, then, is that the shared intensity returns, in the soul. Not to stay in the surface, but to feel it inside. That the genre evolves from that intimacy. The essence of tango is in the embrace and the person you are dancing with.

Coincidentally, I wrote a post not long ago about my own similar discovery. Tango is internal. As the subtitle of this blog, in my mind as always, tango is a feeling in the embrace, the music and the sound of breaths. Simple.

I had a very good time dancing with a beautiful woman visiting from out of town. Very nice and giving embrace, smooth walk. And she has only been dancing for less than two years. We had a few mishaps, nonetheless I thought we both enjoyed the tandas.

On my way driving home, I was still immersing in the bliss of these lovely tandas.  Stopping at a traffic light, I suddenly realized that the reason I enjoyed our tandas so much (Those who know me, know how critical I am with my tango experience. ), other than the lovely embrace, despite the technique, was her musicality.

Yes, woman has her own musicality too.

I am sorry if my epiphany is already a well known fact. All I have read before was how women praised the men being musical and I haven’t heard of any one mentioning musicality of the woman. In the hindsight, some of my unforgettable tango experiences were due to the inspirations I had drawn from the woman’s musicality.  It was not because she moved or danced perfectly to the music. It was deeper. Through our embrace, our touching cheeks, I could feel the music from her body before we took a step. It was exhilarating to dance with woman who had good musicality. Technique was no longer an factor. Giving embrace, individual musicality, these almost guaranteed a dreamy tanda.

I just wish there are more women who would knowingly cultivate this quality, if they don’t have it naturally. Few women would respond to the music as if they felt impelled to sing along, with their feet, their bodies and their souls.

And too many teachers are teaching how to dance,  how to lead and follow,  few are teaching what inspires to dance.

The more and more I appreciate what Pedro Sanchez has said to me: ” Take it easy, listen to the music. It will tell you how to dance. ” It is true for the man, as well as for the woman.

Simba’s post “important difference” echoed a sentiment that I’ve been having: I like to receive as much as I give in tango.

According to my tanguera friend, whom had a few conversations with our teacher at Tangocamp and in BsAs, his philosophy is to give love to all regardless if you expect it to be returned or not. you are there to please the other person. I like that idea, and always follow it reasonably well. And on the blogsphere, there are good amount of posts about how a man should take good care of woman and give a good time to the woman in the dance.

But how about us, the man? What gives us the pleasure of tango? What kind of woman gives us the “ah…” at the end of song, the heart rate that equals to 30 minutes on the treadmill, or in my case, an tangorgasmic experience that I had to hold my tears?

I had a few conversations with my fellow tangueros (the ones whom are popular in the milongas). Yes, men talk too. The most we talk about: a woman’s embrace…

The first time I came back from Buenos Aires, I ranted about the change of embrace on this side of the world; distant, somewhat cold (or nervous) and unnatural as oppose to warm and comfy. It has been close to two years since my first trip back and I have been dancing with hundreds of different women. The more I dance, the more I realize that embrace is as much about technique as attitude; much less to do with experience. Tina has this post that has been always inspiring.

Some of the warmest and most comfy embrace I have experienced were from women had danced just a few months to less than three years. And it is not about particular group of women. The Asian, European and North American can embrace just as well as the Portenas. Some portena’s embrace can feel cold and stiff. Again, part technique, mostly attitude.

The attitude of giving. The attitude of pleasing the other person.

Sometimes one has to give in order to receive.