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A tanguera just relocated from another city. We danced a tanda at this popular milonga.

Tanguera: I remember the first time I danced with you. I thought you were one of the nuevo guys. It was a milonga tanda, right? I didn’t think you were so traditional.

Me: Oh…I am 100% traditional. But why did you think that I dance nuevo?

Tanguera: Well, most of the people here dance nuevo.

Me: Yeah, very few dance traditional tango… and that makes me rare. I AM SPECIAL!

Tanguera: You ARE special! Now every time I see you I will ask you for a dance.

Me: My pleasure.

Most of the dancers know more about sacada, beleo and gancho than embrace.  A few could do them nicely, the majority is just…I am sorry, SHIT.

But I’d had a very good time, dancing with the few who knew  how to embrace. The highlight of my trip: Watching my favorite, a young German girl, dancing with a young guy, four tandas in a row (tango, milonga, vals, and tango) at 6am in the morning. Not a single sacada, beleo or gancho, not a moment of breaking the embrace.

They were just one body, four feet, drawing music on the floor…

Beautiful!!!

PS. Bravo to the grandpas, who had no physical ability and former dance training, who could barely walk straight without wobbling, to have the courage to attempt difficult sequences that professionals wouldn’t dare to practice, on a crowded floor packed with three four hundred dancers. They truly had the spirit of twenty year old, and the brain of six.

My friend Patrizia, the author of It takes two, has been writing for The Huffington Post. Her latest post: Dancing, Culture and the close embrace asks this question “…does anyone need protection from sensuality?”

I had a conversation with an acquaintance right after I got back from Baires. We discussed the different attitudes about tango from different cultures: western European, eastern European, Russian, Asian, Northern American…. He made an interesting comment:

All these people (from this city where he lives) go to BsAs and they embrace differently. They embrace like everyone embracing down there (more or less).  But once they return home, they go back to the old way: distant, courteous and even cold. And that is pretty F%^&ed up.

I had to admit that he had his point.

“Sola?” Carlitos asked me a bit curiously when I showed up one night at the practica without the accompany of my friend. My dear kindhearted friend took me to the practica at Sunderland first time, (and a couple of times after) and introduced me to Carlos and Rosa, and other acquaintances. The very same night, people inquired if I was the Novio.

Another night, I went to Nino Bien with a good friend who is a professional. She got us a very nice table by the piso, front row. We were having a good time, chatting, people watching and commenting. We danced our first dance together…

The moment I met with a portena later, whom I got acquainted with in the milongas, for a tanda. Her first question for me was ” is that your girlfriend?” My friend told me later that at least twice she was asked if I was the new boyfriend.

Isn’t it an outdated mentality that tango is only for hooking up with someone? Can man and woman just be good friends, sharing a bottle of champagne or beer or wine together, having a tanda or two? Why must some people assume that because two show up together at a milonga, they are, by default, lovers?

Apparently, in some minds, tango is just a means to get some…

A couple of nights ago, I was about to leave the milonga early: shoes changed, bag packed and winter coat put on. One of my favorite dancers showed up, fashionably late. I greeted her and half jokingly complained about her late appearance. Swiftly she put on her shoes, and I mine, again. We went on the floor and danced a tanda of Troilo con Fiorentino. It was nice.

Just as I thanked her and was ready to call it a night, the next tanda came up: Pugliese con Chanel. I love this! I exclaimed. We could dance if you like. She was generous.  We stepped on the floor again.

We just slowly walked to the music, very simple. It was such a rare experience,  being able to stretch a simple step over the whole phrase in a flowing fashion. On the surface, I felt so calm; underneath I felt the energy surging and receding. At the end of tanda, I’d experienced the joy yet felt so peacefully, like coming out from a meditation…

I hadn’t been able to put this experience into words. I wasn’t sure how to make of this. This approach to tango, the lack of intention of movement, the profound satisfaction of submerging in the energy of the music, of my capable partner and mine… I don’t want to call it a spiritual experience. It sounds corny, especially to someone who hasn’t had similar experience. And I don’t consider myself a spiritual man, although I’d been practiced martial arts for many years, and yoga for a couple.

But I’ve been really feeling this approach to tango.

Coincidentally, my tango brethren posted a video of OSHO: Meditation Is a Very Simple Phenomenon. Looked into his website, I found that the Nataraj way has perfectly described my discovery.

Disappearing in the dance, then relaxing into silence and stillness, is the route inside for this method.

“Forget the dancer, the center of the ego; become the dance. That is the meditation. Dance so deeply that you forget completely that ‘you’ are dancing and begin to feel that you are the dance. The division must disappear; then it becomes a meditation.

If the division is there, then it is an exercise: good, healthy, but it cannot be said to be spiritual. It is just a simple dance. Dance is good in itself – as far as it goes it is good. After it, you will feel fresh, young. But it is not meditation yet. The dancer must go, until only the dance remains…. Don’t stand aside, don’t be an observer. Participate!

And be playful. Remember the word playful always – with me it is very basic.”

I had been experimenting this way of dancing tango, after my private with Cecilia: “Let your unconscious take over completely. Do not control your movements or witness what is happening. Just be totally in the dance…Dance in celebration and enjoy.”

Isn’t it more fulfilling than trying to figure out what step one should dance?