The musical women
I had a very good time dancing with a beautiful woman visiting from out of town. Very nice and giving embrace, smooth walk. And she has only been dancing for less than two years. We had a few mishaps, nonetheless I thought we both enjoyed the tandas.
On my way driving home, I was still immersing in the bliss of these lovely tandas. Stopping at a traffic light, I suddenly realized that the reason I enjoyed our tandas so much (Those who know me, know how critical I am with my tango experience. 
), other than the lovely embrace, despite the technique, was her musicality.
Yes, woman has her own musicality too.
I am sorry if my epiphany is already a well known fact. All I have read before was how women praised the men being musical and I haven’t heard of any one mentioning musicality of the woman. In the hindsight, some of my unforgettable tango experiences were due to the inspirations I had drawn from the woman’s musicality. It was not because she moved or danced perfectly to the music. It was deeper. Through our embrace, our touching cheeks, I could feel the music from her body before we took a step. It was exhilarating to dance with woman who had good musicality. Technique was no longer an factor. Giving embrace, individual musicality, these almost guaranteed a dreamy tanda.
I just wish there are more women who would knowingly cultivate this quality, if they don’t have it naturally. Few women would respond to the music as if they felt impelled to sing along, with their feet, their bodies and their souls.
And too many teachers are teaching how to dance, how to lead and follow, few are teaching what inspires to dance.
The more and more I appreciate what Pedro Sanchez has said to me: ” Take it easy, listen to the music. It will tell you how to dance. ” It is true for the man, as well as for the woman.
I agree 100%. It is clearly one of the top if not the very top criterion for a good dance for me, feeling that she enjoys the music, too. (If she keeps it to herself, it is no good, I’m afraid).
I was very tempted at one occasion when a vocal female minority of our community demanded more women’s technique classes, to tell them that what they should do to improve was to get a pile of cds and listen to them over and over. It would only have upset them more, I’m afraid.
On a completely unrelated note, is it possible to get back the full posts in the feed? Pleeeease?
I hope I get to dance with you one of these days! (Simba, too!)
I love the music. I love it when the leader also clearly loves the music. When it isn’t about what moves he throws out there, or what style we are doing, but just about expressing the music. Love it.
A while ago, a leader commented about how good it felt to dance with me, because he could tell that I was immersed in the music. I didn’t know that other followers don’t have this same focus. But if you don’t listen to the music, how do you dance? I think followers worry so much about everything else that they forget to listen and enjoy it.
So long as followers continue to be instructed to “not listen to the music” we shall have to wait a long time between those magical tandas.
@Simba… full posts in the feed? I will e-mail you later with some good news.
@MT…Me too, would love to share a tanda one of these days. And yes, a lot of followers worry too much about how to follow and forget about enjoying the dance.
@LT… long time, LT.
Hope more women could share the music they hear with us. But sometimes, those magical moments are worth of waiting or searching for.
I glow when people say I dance musically. I agree with you about the value of this being at least equal to technique classes (at least beyond the basic techniques that give you good control over your dancing). I think a lot of women ask for technique classes not because they don’t value musicality but because they don’t get much out of group classes and technique classes are the only other kind they know about. It can be very difficult from the woman’s point of view to imagine how the woman’s musicality can or should be expressed without interfering with the connection. It’s often presented in a very mechanical way, as ornamentation. I got a great deal out of a few private lessons on the topic, in which my teacher listened to music with me, checked my understanding of it, and then suggested different ways I could vary the quality of my movement to express that understanding, only some of which I would ever have thought of myself.
Technique is very important. As a matter of fact, I have an unpublished post about that. In terms of individual musicality, mostly it is about how one feels about the music. “…get a pile of cds and listen to them over and over. ” is a very good suggestion. I was told by many from the beginning that I had very good musicality, even though I didn’t and still don’t even know how to read sheet music. Yet I’ve kept listening to tango music three to five hours a day for the past two years.
I think that if one truly immerses in the music, one’s body tells. Just like I wrote in the end: “listening to the music, it will tell you how to dance.” In order to be musical, one has to love the music to begin with.
“get a pile of CDs and listen to them over and over” is a good suggestion, but I think a much better suggestion is to listen to a well-chosen few of them together with somebody who already understands them and can show you what to listen for. This is even more true if you haven’t been brought up with classical music, or at least some other kind of music that’s fairly complex and doesn’t use drums. For many people who are only used to fairly simple music with a spelled-out, obvious beat, anything more complex can be just a wall of confusing sound with no distinct shape or pattern. But listening with someone else can solve that problem surprisingly quickly. Even better is to listen with a musician who can play the different musical elements and help you pick them out.
Someone who has good ‘musicality’ from the start is probably someone who can at least hear the rhythm and the phrasing and successfully move in a way that corresponds with them, even if he/she doesn’t know consciously what they are. I think the hearing and the moving are (at least) two seperate problems. I guess beginner leaders who have this probably have no conception of how far others lack it, in the same way that beginner followers who are easy to lead have no idea how hard to lead it’s possible to be.
You have another post “Listen to the music, That’s it” that says it all: Let the music move your body. Technique is vocabulary. Musicality is using your vocabulary to move with the music. This applies to leads & follows equally.
I wholeheartedly agree with the advice to “get a pile of CD’s and listen”, but listen actively. Listen to the phrasing, hum along, breathe with it. Listen to how the song winds up just before the ending, listen for the changes in musical voices.
My favorite leads dance with the music. Not always flashy, but always with the music, and that is something to savor.
dang, typo’d the website link.
@TP Thank you so much for sharing this experience..Nothing beats dancing with a partner who listens to her own dance and connects musically with you in the embrace..Who dances not only with her feet but also her heart who is not afraid to emotionally connect with you through the music.And of course if she knows the music this quality makes everything so worth while..In this dance steps have no meaning and there are no mistakes only tango..Bliss indeed.
@Tango Hampster My favorite leads dance with the music. Not always flashy, but always with the music, and that is something to savor.
If only more leaders heard this it might convince them not to enter i have the most flashy step collection battle that takes place every weekend.
@Mr. T.W, You are so right.